We are living in times of over a 50% divorce rate and of the casual fling that begins with a swipe of a YES on a mobile dating app. Where has the love gone? Well I believe the problem is that noone really knows what love is anymore. My parents generation was about 'family'...getting married, buying the house with the white picket fence and having 3.5 children. What happened for so many of that generation is that when the kids were grown up and they didn't have them to hide behind anymore, they looked at each other one day and realized they didn't even know, or possibly even 'like' the person standing next to them, much less love them. They weren't necessarily marrying for love but doing what they were supposed to do by society's standards. (exceptions, of course!) SO what does that mean for people today? The word LOVE is on everything but still....do we really know what it means? How many parents teach their children how to 'recognize' true love? What to look for in a partner. What it takes to have a successful partnership and marriage? Not happening...because many still do not know what it is but can tell you what it is not. So we 'love' the word love today, without understanding it. Love is a presence of something. It is not butterflies in our stomach and giggles...it is made up of two independently strong, enlightened, realized people that have connected hearts and souls with one another because they understand that with the 'right person' they are better off together than alone. Our partner makes us better. They offer something to our life that brings substance and meaning to it. Love is not for the weary. Love takes courage, strength, commitment, trust, compassion, acceptance. forgiveness and it requires that we know ourselves first so that we can always remain true to who we ARE for ourselves and our partner. If we are going to change the direction of where love is going now and in the future it requires we KNOW what it is first and then remain conscious of it at all times. Commitment like this requires we go in with our whole heart open, not holding anything back. Find THAT person...and then it's easy to stay forever
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Change may be scary but a life that is unhappy, un-lived and unrealized is even scarier. There needs to be a point in which we take a REAL honest look at ourselves and the kind of life we are living and the kinds of relationships we are either attracting or not attracting...and realize something has to change or life will remain the same. It sounds so simple yet a concept many do not grasp for themselves. Our actions, or lack thereof, has created the life we have today. If we want a different experience we have to be willing to change the way we are being, thinking or living. Not an easy task since it is hard to self analyze...to be self objective. The only way we know something is not right is by the circumstances in our life. If it not what we wish to have or what we think we deserve...then something is off. The challenge in this truth is actually having the wisdom and discernment to actually make a change. We pass middle age and we 'think' we know best...but the judge of our REAL internal compass is our LIFE today. Are you happy? Do you have the love in your life you deserve? Are you living in a way that is true to your soul? If the answer is no to any of these, than it is time for a change.Not tomorrow, not next week, not when you 'think' you will be be ready...but TODAY. Whatever the step you take...make it a big one. Small steps don't get you far enough to see a different perceptive. So the heck with the 'stair'...try running the staircase! Life is short...we don't have time to waste thinking about change or taking little steps. Have FAITH in what your heart is telling you to be, do or have... and move forward in that faith. Its the ONLY way God can change your circumstances.
Let's face it...looks are important when choosing a partner but it should not be the MOST important thing on our list! How many times have you been attracted to someone who would not normally be 'your type', because of who that person was vs. just how they appeared on the outside? Or even the opposite...ever known someone who was super good looking but that you had no chemistry with? Attraction goes far beyond appearance.
In order to fall in love with another we must truly know and love ourselves first. Knowing ourselves is important because once we do, we know what kind of partner is GOOD for us and what kind is not. Conscious dating is crucial!
Sometimes people that are not healed and whole are attracted to the person that has the greatest ability to break open the wound they have in their heart, for the purpose of healing it. God gives us many opportunities to heal...as many as we need to finally do the work! Hurting definitely propels us to make change...but it is not a fun emotion to experience, so best we uncover what needs to heal, heal it..and begin choosing the right partners for us. Love is meant to be enjoyed...not a place of chaos and frustration.
Finding the right partner requires that we share common values and interests with that person. Our lover should also be our best friend. This is especially important as we get older. When we don't have the crazy career schedules and kids to raise, it is just that 'soul connection' with our partner we have to get us through life....so we better make sure its a good one!
Chemistry is crucial but if we write someone off at first meeting just due to physical appearances, we might miss out on the goods that that persons soul has to offer. Sometimes chemistry can surprise you.. Keep your heart open and listen to your spirit. Look further than just the physical...that's where we find love.
It's time we get back to love...it is what we are made 'from', born 'with' and the only thing that can truly sustain us in this life. So much is changing in this world every single day but we have to remember where our 'home' is. Being loved is still our greatest human need. That will never change...it is how God made us. All the technology and 'things' of the world cannot take away WHO we are and what we need to survive. Some think they can get by without love if they have all the creature comforts in life...but at the end of our days, love is the ONLY thing we have, the only thing we can take with us when we go...and the only thing we really leave with those we love. LOVE is what gives our life MEANING and purpose. It is why we are here and what we are here for. We all NEED love. Not just a relationship to have a relationship or just a person to hang out with so we are not lonely...but real, beautiful, soulful, connected, precious, sacred, best friend kind of love. If you are single now...believe in love, wait for it and be open to it & ready for it when it shows up. If you have love in your life now...stand for it, respect it, value it and never take it for granted. Love is everything...
No matter where love has taken you in the past, you can know with certainly that it was preparing you for the present. There are no accidents...even those experiences we might call 'poor decisions', were all given to us to as lessons to lead us to where God wants us to go. The growing pains were put in our way to make us stronger, wiser and more prepared for true love. When you are ready to meet the love of your life and God knows 'they' are ready for you too...fate just happens. There is nothing you can do about it except shift and move around the things in your life that you need to in order to make room for that love. If you have prayed for that special love...God has heard your prayer and has already answered. Now be patient and be very conscious of all the signs leading you to the one you are supposed to love, forever. They are out there...sometimes closer than you think.